Cat Approved Advice #1

Dear Cat Ladies,

What does it mean when a guy asks me what I have going for myself other than my looks?  Should I be offended by that?

L:  It isn’t necessarily something you should be offended by, for chances are he was trying to give you a compliment and it just came out weird.  However, this kind of comment may be a warning sign that he doesn’t have a lot of tact or perfected conversation skills.  Proceed with caution (cat-tion).

R:  Well, it means he thinks you are good-looking for one (score!).  Perhaps he is just trying to get to know you better?  Or…perhaps he wants you to be his sugar momma.  My apologies for not being able to compete with L’s clever “cat-tion” comment.

Dear Cat Ladies,

This guy I’m seeing constantly sends me texts and e-mails with grammatical errors.  Should that be a deal-breaker? How do I bring it up with him?  He’s a really nice guy, but I don’t know if the grammar thing is laziness or stupidity.  Help!

L:  Do you find yourself relaying the grammatical errors to your friends and laughing about them?  Does this make you respect him less?  If you’re really serious about this guy but can’t let the grammar go, ask him if he uses spell check, or, after a message full of errors, you could send him a message back and ask him what he meant by it.

R: Because I find grammatical errors and poor spelling inexcusable, I should probably not answer this question.

Dear Cat Ladies,

Why does this guy insist on paying every single time…does that mean he wants something in return?  I don’t mind covering my part of the bill.  Is there a way to figure that out in advance without offending anyone?

L: A lot of it might have to do with how he was brought up to treat a girl.  Many guys pay for girls just because they can and feel it’s gentlemanly.  It doesn’t necessarily mean he expects anything in return, but he will probably be grateful if that’s the way it works out.  Some guys I’ve gone out with have specifically asked if they can buy me dinner.  When they word it that way, you know he’s going to pay.  If he suggests “meeting up” for a cup of coffee, you can always get out of the potentially awkward “who’s paying” scenario by showing up a little bit early -just enough time to beat him there so you can pay for your own drink.  If you’re at a restaurant and the bill comes, try to pick up on his signals.  Some guys appreciate it when a girl at least offers to pay, so that they can say that no, they’ve got it covered.

R: If it makes you feel more comfortable, you can always offer to get the bill next time (if you want there to be a next time).  Regardless of what he wants, if he insists on paying all you owe him is a “thank you.”  If it bothers you, think about it this way — free dinner!

Do you have a question for 2catladies?  E-mail us at


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