Cat Lady Advice: Bieber Fever, Overnight Guests, Allergies

We would like to thank all of you who recently wrote in with questions.  If we haven’t addressed your question today, look for it in an upcoming post.

Dear Cat Ladies,

I just got a Justin Bieber haircut and now everyone keeps asking if I’m a lesbian.  What should I do? Thanks!

R: You should probably submit your photo to this site. Or just stay inside until your Bieber Fever subsides (or your hair grows out a little).

L:  If your singing chops are up to snuff, you might be able to get a few gigs as a Bieber impersonator.  Other than that, unless you want to keep correcting people or posing for photos with adoring fans, you could invest in a snazzy new collection of hats.  I hear they’re in these days.

Dear Cat Ladies,

I recently started dating a fellow I really like, and I feel it’s time to take the next step.  I’m going to ask him to spend the night!  But now for my question.  My sweet little Fluffykins sleeps with me every night, and loves to stretch out over the entire side of the bed.  Would it be appropriate to ask my new fellow to sleep on the couch?  I don’t want Fluffykins to get stressed, as he tends to “punish” me while I am out.  And I REALLY don’t want to have to clean poo off the toaster again.

Thank you Cat Ladies!

R: First of all, congratulations!  You are a cat lady to the core.

Would spending the night with your gentleman caller be an option?  With that option Fluffykins could have the entire bed and would be less likely to deface your toaster (again?).

Otherwise I recommend a catnip-laced cat bed filled with hidden treats and toys.  This will occupy Fluffykins and he will think that it was HIS idea not to sleep with you.  This will free up the other half of your bed for your beau to *ahem* sleep. Please be courteous and lintroll, as I am assuming Fluffykins is not of the hairless variety.

Or make your fellow sleep on the couch.

Good luck!

L:  I like R’s idea of a catnip-laced cat bed, and you could even test it out ahead of time so your gentleman and Fluffykins don’t have to share an awkward “How are we going to handle this situation” look.  If Fluffykins doesn’t go for the alternative, the couch is completely appropriate for your guest.

Hello 2catladies,

I have a dilemma and I’m just going crazy wondering what I should do! I was dating this guy and decided to break up with him, but didn’t want to hurt his feelings, so I told him we couldn’t be together anymore because he has a cat and I’m allergic to cats. What do you know but he showed up at my door a week later with an empty cat crate saying he gave away his cat because he wants to be with me. Uuuugh! I really don’t want to be with him, but I feel really bad now. Help!

Sincerely,

allergictocatslady

R:  It is truly unfortunate that you are allergic to cats.  My deepest sympathy.

Well, that does sound like a pickle.  Try the following steps:

1) Tell him to get his cat back!  Or if possible, do that for him.

2) Let it be known that if he was willing to give up his cat for love, he’s probably super-lame and not worth your time.

3) Let him down gently but be honest with him.  Better to break it off now than 5 years into an unhappy marriage!

4) Get a hypoallergenic cat.

L:  The thing I’m most curious about is what happened to the cat.  Does he/she have a nice home?  Or did this guy drop his cat off at the animal shelter?  You could tell him that since he impulsively “gave up his cat” for love you’re not sure he wouldn’t do the same thing with other attachments in his life, namely you.  After that, run like the wind, and pick up a hypoallergenic cat to keep you company.

Do you have a question for 2catladies?  E-mail us at 2catladies@gmail.com

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