Attention: Human

I have given you a gift.  It is precious and thoughtful, just as all my gifts are.  There are many other humans I could have shared this gift with, but for some reason, I chose you.

Do you see it?

It’s the most amazing thing.  It’s a circular, stretchy, super-fun, rubbery, pre-moistened band.

AND it’s sitting on your leg.  Right where I left it.

But what are you doing?  You are reading a book and ignoring me.

I’m the one who should be doing the ignoring!!!!  It’s my job!!!!

How could you not be interested in my gift?  You can do the most amazing things with it!  You can throw it, and I will leap after it like the graceful gazelle I am.  I will then bring it back to you when I’m ready (whether it’s minutes or days), and we can do the same thing again!  What part of this is not fun?

Okay, I told myself I wasn’t going to do this, but since you must be BLIND not to see the circular, stretchy, super-fun, rubbery, pre-moistened band, I will nudge it with my delicate nose.

There!  I nudged it!

ARGH!  You just patted me on the head!  Hours of grooming and now my hair is messed up!  And you FAILED to pick up the circular, stretchy, super-fun, rubbery, pre-moistened band and throw it for me.

I’m going to nudge it again, because you are CLEARLY missing the point.

ARGH!!! Stop patting me on the head and just throw it already!

Okay, fine, I will be the bigger cat and just wait patiently.

Anytime now would be great.

You’re boring me.  I don’t understand how you could do this to me…reject my gift of the circular, stretchy, super-fun, rubbery, pre-moistened band and the opportunity to throw it for me.

I’m done with you and I’m leaving the couch.

Wait, why did you throw the circular, stretchy, super-fun, rubbery, pre-moistened band NOW?  I already decided that the game was finished!  Your opportunity to play the most fantastic game in the world is gone.

Do you see this look I’m giving you?

It’s the look of EXTREME disappointment.

Human, you have seriously failed today.

I am sincerely disgusted and will commence ignoring you.

George

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6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Sarah
    Aug 12, 2011 @ 23:14:21

    Hahaha! This is hilarious! 😀

    Reply

  2. Dani Alexis
    Aug 13, 2011 @ 13:08:13

    LOL! My cat does this too, only with the straight, rigid, super-fun, plastic, pre-moistened baby spoon (which I bought her so she’d have something to chew on besides my pens). THE LOOK when I fail to praise her for her extremely thoughtful gift and then throw it for her (in that order) is priceless. 😀

    Reply

  3. Lisa
    Aug 13, 2011 @ 17:25:32

    Love it! especially the pre-moistened detail

    Reply

  4. Lynn
    Aug 14, 2011 @ 08:22:14

    Oh, cats. They are so judgmental!

    Reply

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